Nerve.com - An Open Letter Calling Out Paul Dano

I hate Paul Dano, straight up.
I’m sorry, kids a mother fucking douchebag.

I have had the unfortunate experience of sharing two classrooms with young actor, Paul Dano. The kid is a twat bag, and film classes at Eugene Lang College – not exactly the biggest stressor I have ever encountered. More like, if you have seen enough movies, you have the basis to geek out and talk about it.

Paul Dano, actor extraordinaire, sucked the life out of the room. Then when he had to do reshoots for Little Miss Sunshine – he skipped finals. Not only was he passed along, having finals taken care of for him, he got several EXTRA credits for being a working professional.

Another semester, roughly one year later, it happened again. Instead of midterms or attending class, he had to go to L.A. because he was attending the Academy Awards.

Then the Nylon (for Guys) article came out. Maybe the writer is a shit, but it begins in the largest sense of douche I’ve ever read:

“A street corner in New York’s unassuming Tompkin’s Square Park isn’t the first place one would expect an actor to suggest meeting for an interview, but then, Paul Dano isn’t what you would expect of an actor.”

……Seriously. Hipster Manhattan Bar zone…..is a surprise? They go on to meet in… a coffee shop. And discuss the pressures of impending fame.
Now, Paul Dano has added another modern film “genius” to his resume. Ang Lee is joining the roster of Spike Jonze, Paul Thomas Anderson, Todd Solondz and Richard Linklater.

Taking Woodstock is the next film, A comedic period piece (what Ang Lee seems to do best) regarding how the famous Woodstock festival came to be.

The Sun defines it as being “Based on a true story, Demetri Martin stars as interior designer Elliot Tiber, who inadvertently played a pivotal role in Woodstock when he offered his family’s Catskills hotel to organizers as a home base, while his neighbor Max Yasgur (Eugene Levy) offered his farm”

I was supposed to work on this film. The day I didn’t get it, Paul Dano was cast. Todd Solondz was about to cast a friend of mine in his next film, Life During Wartime; he went with Paul Dano.

Dano has worked with, and quite often sucked the oxygen away from some of my favorite actors (Gael Garcia Bernal and Michelle Williams come to mind).

So, Paul Dano, who has also joined a band in apparent lack of ability to express himself, you are my archenemy. You are joining the ranks of Gwen Paltrow and Morgan Freeman. Stay out of my way and don’t career cock block me and I will try to stop telling everyone I meet how useless of a human being you are.